Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
My life is pants optional.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
