Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
