you win again, gameday.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
