I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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