Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
