i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
