38 yer olds are good kisserssss
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You're earring is so big in my mouth
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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