And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
