he thought i was a dude.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
