I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize