Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize