Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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