Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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