You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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