this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
