PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Just pee around me
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
