Already got asked if we're dating
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize