Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
