i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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