Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
