Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
