i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
