He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
