lets start a swedish sibling band together
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
