weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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