You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
