Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
