you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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