the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
