i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
