I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
