Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
