My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize