His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
