Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
