Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i love accidental penises.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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