I'm jealous of your bromance
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Enjoy the penises
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
