ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize