I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
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