I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
