you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize