u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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