The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
