I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
