entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
