i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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