there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
