We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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