grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Pooping to opera.
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