you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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