And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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