If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Life is so much better after having sex.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
