tell your sister to shave her snatch
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
