so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
