I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
