I am puke
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
