I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize