Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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