i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
